Valentine's Day is this Thursday, but there is a less romantic aspect to the holiday than roses and chocolates. According to a private investigator, if your spouse is having an affair, this is a good time to catch a cheater.
“You have to satisfy the mistress,” said Vic Pichette, Private investigator and owner of Genesis Investigations. He said the cheater, either a man or woman, will most likely buy gifts and/or see the person on a day close to Valentine’s Day.
It's so common, claims Pichette, that in his profession, February 13 has been dubbed "Mistress Day."
How do you know if your spouse is cheating?
We sat down with the private investor to learn some common signs:
- Is your spouse suddenly going away for business?
- Is your spouse excessively on the computer or cell phone?
- Does your spouse clear out the call history or cache?
- Does your spouse immediately shut down the phone or computer when you come into the room?
- Has your spouse changed his/her behavior? Is he/her more or less affectionate, working late or leaving early in the morning?
"It takes time to cheat,” said the investigator. “It takes planning. You have to find your spots.” The spouse will know the times that it could be happening, he explained.
The best indicator is a gut feeling, said Pichette. When a person has a deep suspicion, he estimates about 95 percent of the time that person's instinct is right when it comes to a cheating spouse.
Pichette said when trying to catch a cheater, there is a difference between men and women. “Women are smarter than guys,” he explained. “They think things through. Women do things differently. They don’t put out a lot of signs.”
He said for women, the most common sign is a change in emotion. Of his cases, 40 percent of the time it is the woman who is suspected of having the affair.
What do you do if you suspect your spouse is having an affair?
“Don’t ask, they will never tell the truth,” advised Pichette. “Pay attention, think it through.” He suggested keeping a written log of suspicious behavior.
“Then when the suspicion is high enough, get a consultation. At that point you can determine if a professional could help,” he said.
Pichette warned that if you bring up concerns, the cheater will more than likely back-off, and it will more difficult to prove your suspicion of an affair.
When Pichette finds evidence of infidelity for his clients, he said it's always a difficult time, even if they have a deep suspicion.
"They are kinda prepared. I use the word 'kinda' because nobody is ever prepared," he said.
Vic Pichette, the owner of Genesis Investigations in East Greenwich, has been a private investigator for over 25 years.